Lament of a Kill Stealer
performed by Barlypop Tart
lyrics by Ez'Wazabi
original/music “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen

Barlypop sings:
Is this a game bug?
or am I in PvP?
I keep on gating, no escape from Wazabi

He opens his thighs
I close my eyes, don’t wanna seeeeeeee..

I’m just a poor gnome
in my robes, I’ve just peed
Because here he comes
and my bladder lets go
His damage is high, my mana is low

Crushed under where the wind blows
Escape is all that matters to meeeee
to meeeeee…

*He turns to an observer*

Matzah, I just stole a kill
sicced my pet against that mob
capped off life spike, that’s a rob

Matzah, the xp was mine
But then Wazabi turned and looked my waaaaayy…

Matzah, oooooowawooooooo

*looks up at Wazabi from underneath*

Didn’t mean for it to die
Can I give you back the loot to show my sorrow?

*Wazabi shakes his head*

Come on! Come on!
It’s a game, doesn’t really matter!

*flashes back to the chase *

Too late, here comes the crack!
He says “It’s clobberin’ time
and that “Yo candy ass is mine!”

Goodbye, random pet name, I’ve got to go
Gotta try and run away
or faaaaaace the trooooooooooll..

Matzah, oooooowaaawooooo *gonna crush me under where the wind blows*
I don’t wanna die
Sometimes wish I’d never logged on at aaaaaalllll…

*Matzah’s guitar solo*

*Barly runs, singing loudly as he goes*

I see a huge silhouetta of an ass
GOTTA GATE! GOTTA GATE!
Did I bind at Najena?
CRUSHING ASS OF LIGHTNING!
VERY VERY FRIGHTNENING!
*scream*

Wazabi sings: Gedallen! Gaedallen! Gaedellen! Gaedallen! Gaedallen!
I just crushed a ho!

Gaedallen: Magnifico!

Barlypop sings again:
I’m just a poor gnome, nobody twinked me..

Rest of Guild: He’s just a poor gnome, from a gnome family
Spare him from the crack, you monstrosity!

Barlypop sings again:
Easy come, Easy go…
Will you let me go?

Rest of Guild: Tolsia!

Wazabi: No, I will not let you go.

Rest of Guild: Let him go!

Rest of Guild: Tolsia!

Waz: I will not let him go..

Rest of Guild: Let him go!

Rest of Guild: Tolsia!

Waz: Will not let him go

Barly: LET ME GO!

Waz: Will not let you go

Barly: LET ME GO!

Waz: Me oWnzer j00

Barly: He’ll never let me go….

Guild: No no no no no no no!

Oh Matzah Rhella
Matzah Rhella!
Matzah Rhella let him go!

*Matzah shakes head*

Barlypop: Cazic-Thule! Has Innoruuk put a site for me?
for me?
for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

*Wazabi begins to fart thunderously on Barlypop*

Barly: So you think can come crush me and fart in my eyes?

*Wazabi nods*

Barly: So you think you can stun me and leave me to die?

*Waz nods happily*

Barly: Oh Wazi, can’t do this to me Wazi!
Just gotta get out, I just gotta get right out of here-ah!

*Barlypop struggles*

Guild: Oooooooooooooooowaaaaaaawooooooooo
Ooooh yea! Ooooooooh yea!

*Barly gives up*

Barly: Nothing really matters..
Can’t escape, you see..
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters….. to me…..

I’m crushed under where the wind blows….

*FRRRAAAAAAAAAAP*