The Ballad of Barlyic
lyrics by Mentheren
original/music "Paul Revere" by *sniff* The Beastie Boys (sorry guys)

Noooow... here's a little story I gotta tell
About a mercenary you know so well
It started way back in GFay with
Darkhawk, Wade C A, and me, Gay-D.

Darkhawk:
I had no horsey cus they ran away when I came near
Just me and my swords and a quart of beer
Roaming across the realm, rasin' all kind of hell
Highlander girlies after me cus I'm in demand
One lonely mercy I be
All alone with no guildies
This bandit playin' me like a little punk
The loot is piling up, the beer is getting drunk
Lookin' for a girl, I ran into a guy
His name was Wade C. A., I said "howdy"; He said "Aye."

He told a little story that sounded like bullshit
Two days in game and he's already level 36
The beer was in my pack and he was on my ass
His voice was crude his manner crass he asked me for a glass
He said "Could I get some?" I said "You can't get none."
Had a chance to run, he pulled out a partisan
Quick on the style, I thought I was pwned
He put the pole in my nuts and that's when I groaned.

Wade C.A.:
Now my name is Wade C. A. and I got a licence to spill
(ya)
I think you know what time it is, it's time to drink my fill.
(ya)
Now what do we have here, a mercenary and no beer?
(uh huh)
I pwn this land, you understand, I made myself clear?

Darkhawk:
We stepped into the bar he had a pole I had grin
You think this story's over, but it's ready to begin.

Wade C.A.:
Now I got the wang and you got no ale
Now you got one choice and you can not bail
It's not a tough decision, a literal "no fall",
I can wtfpwn you or you can join the Wall.

Darkhawk:
I said I'll join the Wall only if I can be the leader
My last guild blackballed me for not being a kill stealer
I whacked it like this, I whacked it like that
A fuckin' friar took my kill with a fucking nerf bat
Soooo I'm the run, GM's got my gun
and right about I just wanna have some fun
Barlyic Darkhawk, that is my name
And I know the way to roxxor this game

We zoned for six hours and we found the spot
The lag was thumpin' and the NPCs hawt
This pally was starin' like he knows who we are
We took an empty seat next to him at the bar
Wade C. A. said,

Wade C.A.:
Yo, do you know this spoot?

Darkhawk:
I said, "I don't but I know he's a fr00t!"

Wade C.A.:
The spoot said,

Gay-D:
Get ready, cus this is fuckin' funny!
My name is Gay-D and I'm about to get some honey
Pulled out the 'claymore', pointed at the sky

Darkhawk:
Yelled "Huzzah" and let the wang fly
Hands went up and dresses hit the floor
He pwned two jackasses that came in the door

Gay-D:
I'm Gay-D and I get no respect
Your tasty cakes and biscuts are what I expect

Darkhawk:
Wade C. A. was with it, and he's my ace,
So I took a serving wench and I kissed her on the face
Wench is passed out, the girls are now in line
Some chick gave me a wink I knew she was mine
Gay-D took the money, Wade C. A. got the gold
I grabbed two more girlies and a beer that's cold.